What’s at the End of my Labyrinth?

What’s at the End of my Labyrinth?

What's at the End of my Labyrinth?

This is going to be one of those thinking out loud kind of posts. I find writing helps me figure things out. As you may have read in the last two paragraphs of my Guess Who’s Back post, I feel like Sarah in the junk heap obstacle in Labyrinth. Sarah eventually remembers why she needs to get to the castle, to save her brother Toby, but I can’t remember¬†why I need to get to the castle (if I ever knew in the first place) so I just linger with my distractions. I need to determine what I’m working toward. I need to get to the castle, grab what I came for, and tell my depression, “you have no power over me.” It sounds great but, in order to get to that castle, I need a good reason and I can’t think of one. Read more

Journal Entry: Feb 24, 2016 (Identity Confusion)

Journal Entry: Feb 24, 2016 (Identity Confusion)

Journal Entry: Feb 24, 2016 (Identity Confusion)

Brushed Teeth: Yes
Walked: Yes, 60 min 3.05 miles
Healthy Breakfast: Yes
Shower: Yes
No Dunks or Starbucks: Yes
Mood: Sick, tired, and intrigued

I am catching up on blogging. I haven’t blogged in days. I’ve just been sick and kind of out of it. I’m still doing my morning routine but, I haven’t been blogging or free writing. Sorry if I said this in my last blog too. In order to write this blog I had to go to my twitter feed to see what I had to say last Wednesday and I made an interesting discovery that day so this won’t be as short as I worried it might. I have suffered from Identity Confusion (first of all didn’t know it was called that) for a long time now. I don’t know myself. I know superficial details but, I feel like I don’t know who the real me is. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve been there. I always thought this loss of sense of self was a symptom of my bipolar or depression or ADD but, I read an article today called The Brain in Defense Mode: How Dissociation Helps Us Survive¬†and found out that it is most likely caused by the trauma I’ve been through. Read more